COMPASSIONATE WOMEN CHILDREN DEVELOPMENT CENTER
Compassionate women children development center is an organ of the compassionate women outreach ministry that is bent to build children of different categories, equip the less privileged and educate the world on how to make children, orphans, motherless babies and all abandoned babies to become whom God originally created them to become. Their teaching businesses include the following ones below:
Compassionate women children development center is a friend to all and the grassroot of all relationship in compassionate women outreach ministry. It is a godly ministry, holiness ministry and the academic arm of this organization. It is an educational arm of the compassionate women outreach ministry that is bent to build and to equip babies and children for their betterment. It is out to reach the commoners, parents, orphanage owners, charity and benevolent organizations in order to educate them on how to run and to manage orphanage homes, charity organizations and nonprofit making ministries for the glory of God. Their supreme tasks are for both babies, children and other orphanage runners in our society.
Less privileged children, the orphans, motherless babies and other children with sad stories have lives full of discouragements, tensions, fears and ill mindedness due to the conditions they saw themselves which they cannot change by themselves, though changeable, but how shall we make them to be courageous? This class of people need to be happy, courageous, bold and strong from their fainting conditions? This class of people need to be happy, courageous, strong, lively and always live in hope and with faithful and be successful in life and in their daily heart desires.
HOW TO BUILD BABIES IN ORPHANAGE HOMES
Building babies and children in orphanages or orphanage homes is a necessity to every orphanage operator. The purpose of the establishment of orphanage homes should not only be “the feeding of children but should inevitably include building the babies and the children to mature and to moral levels. Here are the most possible means to build babies and children in orphanage homes.
THE MANAGEMENT OF CHILDREN CENTERS IN OUR COUNTRY
Children centers, whether called rehabilitation children center, orphanage homes or even motherless babies center need proper administration and full attention and good managerial functions. The management of children centers has to do with 5ms (FIVE Ms) which form the true functioning of the ministries or the organization. The 5ms are management of men, money, materials, machineries and management of ministries.
MOTHER AND CHILD CARE AT HOMES AND IN ORPHANAGES
Motherhood heart and spirit are necessary for the upbringing of children or babies. There is need for adequate preparation if success is expected. Motherhood spirits can take place at home and in orphanages too.
When an average person gets married, she looks forward to the time when she will have a baby. The period of pregnancy can be a great challenge. Some women go through it with excitement and anxiety whilst others go through it with great strain. During this period it is important for the expectant mother to take care of herself and the unborn baby. She should also prepare for her confinement, which is against the tradition of some tribes in our country.
PREPARATION FOR MOTHERHOOD
A newly married housewife should have an idea about the signs and symptoms of pregnancy. She should also know about the facilities which are available in her area or neighbourhood, such as the maternity, hospital and the clinics. In the hospitals and clinics she will be taught how to prepare for motherhood and what she requires for her confinement.
WHAT OTHER SUPERSITIONS CONNECTED WITH PREGNANCY DO YOU KNOW OF?
SIGNS OF PREGNANCY
The first sign a woman notices when she is pregnant is that she misses her menstrual period. During the first few months she may feel sick or actually be sick in the morning when she gets up. This is called morning sickness and it is very common. As time goes on her breasts become enlarged and she passes urine more often. She may sometimes feel dizzy.
CARE OF THE PREGNANT WOMAN
A pregnant woman should take good care of herself. As soon as she is pregnant she should see a doctor or go to the pre-natal clinic. She should eat well balanced meals and get plenty of rest and sleep, but also moderate exercise. She should avoid lifting or pushing heavy articles. It is important that she should keep her body clean.
THE VALUE OF THE PRENATAL CLINIC
It is very important for the expectant mother to visit the pre-natal clinic regularly for the following reasons.
THE VALUE OF THE POST-NATAL CLINIC
The post-natal clinic is as important as the pre-natal clinic for the following reasons.
PREPARATION FOR DELIVERY
Nowadays many expectant mothers get the necessary articles ready for the confinement. She can go to the hospital or maternity home for the delivery, or someone from the domiciliary service can go to the home to deliver the child. In either case the expectant mother should buy the clothing and the utensils required. In the case of home delivery, she also has to get a room ready. The following can be considered as the essential requirements for her confinement.
FEEDING NATURAL AND ARTIFICAL
Feeding a new born baby correctly is important to the development of a child. It should be given careful attention. Mothers having their first baby should be advised on feeding a baby. Baby can be fed on natural milk or artificial food. The mother’s artificial food is powdered milk. There are many kinds of powdered milk. Most of them are composed of similar nutrients, but some are expensive and not within the reach of the low income group mothers. Mothers should be encouraged to breast feed their babies, because of the following advantages.
CORRECT FEEDING PROCEDURES
Different methods are used for feeding a baby. The baby can be fed at regular hours on the breast or with the bottle. He can be fed on demand and also force fed. Force feeding is practiced by few tribes in Nigeria, and this is not considered a suitable method.
The correct procedure for breast or bottle feeding is as follows.
BABY’S LAYETTE
Every mother enjoys getting things ready for the arrival of her baby, especially if it is going to be her first. It is one of the most pleasant tasks for her to decide on the baby’s clothes and equipment. The first set of clothes made for the baby is called the layette.
While a baby is being carried inside the mother he is warm and comfortable. As soon as he is born he becomes exposed to cold and dirt. At this stage the baby cannot move about and so cannot keep himself warm. Therefore it becomes necessary for the baby to be protected and kept warm; care and thought should go into the choice of clothes.
ACTIVITY
Study the displayed fabrics. Put them into their different classes. Find out the most suitable fibers for baby’s wear. Sketch two styles you would like to make for your own baby.
FURTHER INFORMATION
The baby’s layette comprises: vests, dresses, napkins, matinee coats, plastic pants, bootees, night dresses, shawl.
CHOICE OF CLOTHES FOR A BABY’S WARDROBE
In choosing clothes for a baby there are four major points to consider:
This depends largely on the weather and on baby’s age and health. In warm weather the baby will not need much clothing. He should not be kept too warm as it will make him uncomfortable and he will eventually get a rash on his skin. When the weather is cold he should be clothed more warmly to prevent him becoming chilled. It must be remembered that as a new born baby grows very fast in the early weeks and months it is wasteful to buy very many clothes for him at this time. If his health becomes poor, special clothes can be bought in addition, to last him through that time. The important thing is to have enough light, washable clothes to keep him always clean and fresh, warm but not too hot. Below is a list of recommended clothes for a normal baby.
3 vests
2 dozens napkins
3 matinee coats
2 pairs of plastic pants
1 pair of bootees
1 pair of socks
1 shawl
3 night dresses
2 dresses
If the mother is having her baby in hospital she does not have to take the baby’s wardrobe with her. Normally she will pack two of each item of the baby’s clothing, but of course this depends on the duration of her stay. About half a dozen napkins should be packed, as well as :
2 vests,
2 night dresses,
1 pair of plastic pants
2 matinee coats
Recommended fabrics are therefore as follows
It should also provide tucks and pleats which can be let out as the baby grows bigger. The style should be simple, not elaborate, as too many frills and trimmings may get in the way of the child and disturb his breathing, causing him harm.
A mother starts taking care of herself and the baby from the time that she knows the baby is living and growing inside her. Now that the baby has been born he is in a rough outside world and therefore the care he needs is different and far more time consuming. He will need food, rest and sleep, attention and love. He is a small soul but a big disorganizer of the mother’s old routine.
Look through the magazines provided and make a list of all the things that have to do with baby’s food, rest and sleep, and bath.
A daily bath is essential to keep baby’s skin fresh and healthy. The baby’s state of health shows in the condition of his skin. If the baby’s skin becomes blue in colour it invariably means that for some reason his blood circulation is not satisfactory. The baby should be take in to hospital. The skin is used by the body in three ways.
CARE OF BABY’S SKIN
PREPARATION FOR BATHING BABY
The following items should be got ready before starting to bath a baby.
METHOD OF BATHING BABY
SOME SAFETY NOTES
THE BABY AND HIS NAPKIN
Baby’s nappy is his most important item of clothing and so should be of high quality. Whenever the nappy is damp or soiled, take the trouble to change it. He likes to be comfortable in this way. If he is left wet, he becomes sore and unhappy and may develop nappy rash.
BABY’S COSMETICS AND TOILET ARTICLES
The baby’s items of cosmetics include:
BABY’S COT
The cot or pram is the baby’s resting and sleeping place. For the baby to sleep and rest in comfort a good cot and mattress should be provided for him and he should sleep alone. His cot sheets should also be of good quality. The cot should be:
There are different types of cot as follows:
The cot should have:
Mattress
1 large rubber sheet
4 cot sheets
2 to 3 baby blankets
THE MATTRESS SHOULD BE:
MAKING THE COT
BABY’S GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT
Each baby is an individual in his own right, and has a special body build, a different rate of growth, and a style of behavior that is very much his own. These differences are more evident when a group of babies is observed as they grow into childhood. One is frail, while another is stocky. This one may be active and bubbling over with energy, that one is placid and slow-moving. Therefore, there should be no surprise or dismay if the baby, in the process of growth, appears to be backward compared with other babies in his age-group.
Ask mother at home how different your development was from that of the other children in the family. Compare this with what you noticed about one of your younger brothers or sisters. Make a note of your observations and comparisons. Some babies are faster in mental and physical development than others? Behavior patterns differ from baby to baby. Why?
Every baby grows in stages, in fits and starts, and not in an even way. At some times his physical growth is rapid while his mental growth seems to be at a resting point. At other times his mental development spurts ahead while his physical growth slows down. This makes his growth pattern rhythmic and not regular.
MENTAL AND PHYSICAL DEVELOPMENT OF THE BABIES
| TIME | DEVELOPMENT |
Ist month |
Hearing is fully developed, but eyes do not focus and may appear crossed. He yawns a lot, hiccups and sneezes. His hands are tightly curled, while his head needs support. He sleeps most of the time when he is not feeding. |
2nd month |
Turns head towards voices, cries vary for food, discomfort and excitement. He may begin to sleep through the night. He settles into a regular routine. |
3rd month |
He smiles and babbles. Finds that crying results. Can now turn from side onto back, and holds up head, he enjoys bright colour and can hold a rattle if put into his hand. |
4th month |
Holds up head with support, coos and smiles in response; reaches for his toes, plays with hands and can grasp toys. |
5th month |
Birth weight usually doubles by this time, reaches for objects and carries everything to the mouth. He can now turn from back onto side and becomes more selective in taste. Raises hands asking to be lifted. |
6th month |
Eyes and hands work together. Sits with more ease, emotions become definite, mamma effort to call mamma and daddei, cut first (milk) teeth, usually the lower ones. |
7-8 months |
Sits with confidence, may start crawling becomes freer with the use of toys; and associates ideas with words. |
9-12 months |
Crawls and stands with support and may even take his first steps, can say a word or two and understands many; has more teeth; triples his birth weight. |
RECOGNITION OF SIGNS OF ILL - HEALTH
Baby’s health and progress are of prime importance and therefore the mother needs complete co-operation with the family doctor or the local children’s’ clinic. Regular check-ups are essential. The following will serve as guide-posts to a baby’s ill-health.
The baby cries for many reasons, so his cries should never be ignored. He may cry because he is uncomfortable in bed, or because he is hungry, or again because he needs attention, or because he is in pain or wants to sleep. Each cry is different in form to the other. The hungry baby interrupts his cries to make sucking movements with his lips, but when he is in pain he cries harder and longer with no time even for breath. He may have a pain in his tummy. If the cries are accompanied with wriggling, the trouble might be in the navel.
If baby loses his appetite and eats very little or nothing, he might be running a temperature, and this might cause loss of weight.
This will make him uncomfortable, and unless prompt action is taken to loosen his bowels, he might start a temperature and end with convulsions.
THE IMPORTANCE OF PLAY IN CHILD DEVELOPMENT
Play is the child’s chief occupation. It is through this play that he develops physically, mentally and morally. Not only do his muscles harden and become coordinated from his play but his general well being is improved also. He eats and sleeps better, he is happier and has fewer emotional outbursts.
Play stimulates a child’s imagination, improves his memory and offers him opportunities for reasoning. It makes him mentally alert, thereby helping him to adjust his life, and preparing him to meet any problems life may present. A child learns more from play than he does from his schooling, about how to meet practical situations of an everyday sort.
TOYS AND PLAY MATERIALS
Play needs suitable play materials and toys, and because play is a very important factor in a child’s life, how he plays should not be left to chance. Parents should be selective in the choice of play materials provided to stimulate the child’s play. These materials are so important in the child’s whole developmental pattern that their planning is worth unlimited time and thought. It is important also that time should be spent directing the child so that he plays in the most beneficial manner, although it should not be carried to extremes so that his imagination is stifled.
CHOICE, CARE AND STORAGE OF SUITABLE TOYS AND PLAY MATERIALS FOR DIFFERENT AGES
How a child will depend on the materials he has available, and partly on how he learns to use them. Though children are not alike in their needs and interests, there are certain types materials that every child needs and enjoys. Therefore it is advisable to supply equipment that will stimulate the different forms of play mentioned below.
It is important to note that skills learned during childhood play go along way not only to forming foundations for muscle skill, but also developing favourable attitudes for work of similar nature as he grows older.
Care should be taken that all play materials are collected after playtime and stored away in big plastic bowls, baskets or well decorated cartons, and kept in a safe place.
PHYSICAL, MENTAL, SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT
INTRODUCTION
The fundamental purpose of studying the development of the child is to discover the pattern of growth of the normal child, and to determine the causes of deviations from this pattern whenever they occur. It is important to know that development, whether physical or mental, is not uniform process, and that particular types of behavior can be expected of children in the same age group. This knowledge of the patterns of human development enables us to know what to expect the child, when to expect it, and at what stages different behavioural patterns normally emerge into more mature forms.
Look back on your younger days at home and try to remember the first disagreement you had either with your father or your mother, and what it was all about. Write down the whole story briefly and in rough. Try to remember the first lie that you told, for which you were punished, and what your reaction was.
FURTHER INFORMATION
Every living creature is shaped by two forces – heredity and environment. Heredity is a combination of all the physical, mental and emotional parts that the child possesses at the time he is born, and which have come from members of his family. Environment is an outside force or influence which changes the child, and it is these surrounding conditions at home, school and in society that make the child into a person.
The child begins life as a single cell. From the moment a single sperm from the father enters a single egg of the mother’s, the child begins to grow. From that instant all the child’s inherited characteristics and capabilities are mapped out. The sex is also decided at the same moment. Scientists have discovered that the child’s sex is determined by the sperm from the father, though the father has no choice in the matter.
Inheritance is passed on through genes. Genes are very minute units of inheritance, which are carried inside chromosomes. A chromosome is like a long necklace and contains thousands of genes. These are matched to form many thousands of pairs of genes. The mother received two pairs of chromosomes, one pair from her own mother, and the other from her father. So also the child receives a pair from each of his father and mother; and what is passed on to him is decided by chance alone. The genes the child has inherited combine in matching pairs to direct the growth of the child’s hair should be straight or curly, and so on. No other children by the same parents can inherit the same combinations, except, perhaps, in the case of identical twins.
Environment has no influence on this aspect of the child’s development, but it can enhance it if he receives his basic physical and mental needs. Environment is the surrounding conditions that modify a person. It is of utmost importance in stimulating the growth of physical and mental traits potentially present in him at birth. Given a good environment there is a good chance that these traits will develop to their fullest capacities. Without it, they will never reach their maximum potential.
The child, to achieve his physical potential, needs plenty of good food in a well balanced diet, sufficient restful sleep for his age and level of development, fresh air, sunlight and vitamins to supplement natures health giving elements. The same thing is true of his mental capacities. They can develop to their peak only if he has a good schooling which stimulates his mental abilities, combined with plenty of opportunities outside school to broaden his cultural outlook and stimulate him to learnt things that school does not teach.
No matter how great the inherited talent, it needs development and an opportunity to grow. The child needs encouragement to achieve all that he is capable of achieving. Since nature provides only the basic foundations for the child’s personality development, he needs an environment in which he can feel loved and wanted, and friends who can give him fair competition and opportunities to broaden his interests. The child must learn to see himself in his true perspective, and to size up his abilities and disabilities correctly. He will derive from the environment provided by his parents, in the home and in the neighourhood, many of the benefits or handicaps to his physical and mental development.
The child’s environment depends partly on his country of birth, his home and his place in the family. His development depends on the adults who care for him and how they care for him. As he grows older the child becomes capable of influencing his environment to some extent. He can choose his friends and his activities. He develops socially as he learns to mix with various groups of people.
PHYSICAL, MENTAL, SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT
When a new baby is born, he is completely helpless and dependent, but grows very rapidly into a child who gains a certain amount of independence. As he grows older his growth rate changes and he develops physically, emotionally and socially rather than in his first three years. As explained before his growth pattern is rhythmic and not regular. Because each child differs in respect of growth, it is difficult to predict just what the child will be able to do at any one stage.
By the age of three, the child has reached the first stage of his childhood. He has come through the period of conflict between babyhood and childhood serene. His growth will follow the same pattern until he is five years old. At this stage he is serious about whatever he does and enjoys praise. He listens attentively to stories and learns to acquire simple skills through playing ‘house’ and acting his imagery. Above all he learns to get along with other children and adults. Because he wishes to be like the adults around him, he takes delight in making things, doing things and constructing things. These activities help him to learn to control his small muscles, to cope with disappointments and to enjoy his successes.
He is full of curiosity and so asks questions, and has a vivid imagination about things around him. He now has many words in his vocabulary and therefore talks easily and makes a lot of noise. As he draws near the age of five he is no longer as ready to please adults as he was at the age of three. He is going through another stage of change from the stable threes and can go out of bounds easily both in action and speech.
The child can dress and undress himself and can look after most of his toilet needs. He can be taught simple personal hygiene at this stage. He is usually hungry and eats quickly and easily, though he has to be reminded from time to time about eating neatly.
Because of the endless running about, jumping, kicking, climbing and making things, the child may well need afternoon rest or sleep which should be enforced if necessary. At the age of five, the child feels mature. He wants to help around the house doing some grown up chores.
This period in the child’s life is known a the formative period. The child will carry through life most of what he learns at this stage. It is therefore, important that the home, the school and the company he keeps are congenial for a healthy upbringing. It behooves parents to give him opportunities to gain self confidence, to show him love and understanding, and to give him the security he needs, but also to teach him self control.
SLOW DEVELOPERS
If there is real cause for anxiety on the part of the parents that the child may be retarded in his mental and physical development, because he lags behind other children of his age in most areas of his behavior, the child could be taken to a doctor or a psychologist for a complete physical and mental check up. The doctor alone will have the answer as to whether or not the child is normal.
It must be remembered that boys and girls have different development rates, so they are not comparable. In some areas of development the girls take the lead, while in some others the reverse is true.
In the same way the position of the child in the family plays an important role in setting the pattern and rate of development of that child. The first born in the family is usually slower in developing than the second ore third. The reason for this is not that he is weaker or duller, but that his parents generally have more time to do things for him than they have for the other children that follow. As a result, the first born child has fewer chances to develop skills, and less incentive to do so, than the second and third child.
PROBLEM BEHAVIOUR
Every stage of development has its problem forms of behavior that are usually found in the child. These problems arise from the child’s attempts to adjust to new and more complicated situations than he has had to face before. Until the adjustment is complete he is likely to continue to do many things which will be labeled by his parents as ‘problems’. These problems may appear to be mental, sexual, or physical and may show in his general behavior pattern at home. These are some common problems that are identified with growth. The child may lie, steal and get into a temper easily.
The child might be carried away by his vivid imagination and put it all into words. The story he tells may not be true, but it satisfies him as the story is completely his creation. As he plays more with other children and enjoys real experiences he gradually learns the difference between reality and imagination.
Again, to escape from punishment, he tells an untruth. This is caused by fear and insecurity. The child may learn to tell a lie because he is asked Did you do that? By an angry adult. Instinctively he says ‘No’ hoping to escape punishment. As the child approaches the age of eight or nine, he tends to be more willing to admit faults.
A child seeking attention and importance may decide to tell lies against an adult, or if he has failed to reach the same standard as other children, he may lie about some past achievement.
As the child grows up he should learn to identify those things that are his as distinct from those that are not his. He might steal to satisfy a need, or to prove his bravery or ingenuity to friends. It may be due to unhappiness at home, for example if the home is broken and he is missing the love of one parent.
Anger is a natural human emotion. It has led to most of the reforms of the human race. It can do good if used constructively. However, someone who is always getting angry and making a fuss, who shouts and hits and has a quick temper is not pleasant for people to live with. He is an unhappy person himself. The child who shows signs of tantrums needs to be helped to control himself so that he does not become an unpleasant and irresponsible citizen.
BRINGING UP CHILDREN IN GOOD CULTURE AND ITS IMPORTANCE
INTRODUCTION
While the child is still young he should be made aware of the important features of his culture and helped to appreciate them.
WHAT IS CULTURE?
Culture is a peoples’ moral principles and their code of conduct. It is their whole life, the way they dress, or greet one another, their whole family, set up and their religious and social life. It is the way of life that they consider will best develop their capabilities as human beings, and it should therefore be the pride of the Nigerian child to be educated in his culture.
Find out about the culture of one ethnic grouping in Nigeria, with respect to salutation, coming of age and family units, choosing your group from the following: Efiks, Hausa, Ibo, Ijaw and Yoruba. Act out a scene in which they are shown.
FURTHER INFORMATION
The Nigerian family is an embodiment of its traditions and customs. It is a complex set-up with the three types of family systems practiced side by side with one another. The three systems are the nuclear (monogamous), the polygamous, and the extended.
In most parts of our country, no one system is practiced on its own. The extended system is practiced with the nuclear or the polygamous system. A child born into any of these system does not belong to his parents alone. He is a child to every member of the system. His pre-school education, which is dependent on the culture of his family, is the responsibility of all – father, mother, grandparents, father’s wives and their children, uncles and cousins, close and distant. He is nurtured in the ethics of his people. The child is responsible to the family in general and owes his respect, obedient and love to them. It is every members’ wish that he should grow up into a respectable gentleman and bring honour and pride to the entire family.
It is very important that he should identify with the entire family. Therefore, he learn to recognize ‘father’ as head of the family, as the only man who has the veto – his decisions are final. All cases of misconduct go to him for settlement. His mother, the acquired mothers and all of the others see to his everyday needs. Whereas his physical development is taken care of by his activities in the play ground and swimming, his mental and emotional development is the responsibility of his mother. Sometimes the child has a crush on one of his mother.
The child’s development is highly influenced by his particular environment, and growing up in any of these systems varies from one ethnic group to another. Its success depends on the traditions and customs prevalent in the group, and the effectiveness of the family head to make the child’s development what it ought to be. So from an early age the child develops the sense of belonging. His feeling of security is stamped in and he grows into a healthy boy beloved by all.
Just as his good disposition is a joy to the family, so his problems are shared by all. When he does wrong he is scolded or punished, not necessarily by his parents but by his relation as well.
The place of custom and tradition in the Nigeria context of child up-bringing is a very important one, and should be appreciated and respected by the child. He has his responsibility to the family. He is expected to take part in all religious ceremious and burial rituals, and to appreciate his age-group. He learns to ride a cycle, to dance, to speak the groups special language. This is particularly true for those whose life is nomadic and whose parents have to move from place to place to find grasslands and watering places of cattle. His behavioural pattern is mapped out for him by the groups code of conduct. He eats at another. He has no cares.
No matter what the system, some customs seem to be the same. The importance of respect for the elder is not over-looked. Salutation remains the mark of good up-bringing. Respect for customs and tradition, and recognition of all they stand for continue to be a part of the set up. The place of the first son in the family is not debatable his position demands a degree of respect as he will succeed his father at his death and may take over some of his wives and the ordering the whole family.
It should be the wish of each parent that his child is brought up to appreciate and respect what is Nigerian. He should be easily identified as a Nigerian wherever he goes, by his demeanour, and costume.
Character has been defined by a psychologist as an enduring psycho-physical disposition to inhibit (stop) instinctive impulses in accordance with regular principle. Whereas a man’s nature is shown in his inclination and desires and in the goals which he pursues, his character is shown in the manner of his pursuits, that is the regulations he imposes on his desires and inclinations. The distinctive manner in which a man goes about his business whether honestly, selflessly, or stubbornly is referred to as his character or trait.
Character training, then, hopes to make the child tough and courageous irrespective of circumstances. It assumed great importance when people felt that the world was drifting , and thought that it would serve as a panacea. Courses for both boys and girls were started.
The ‘outward bound’ was one such course started in some overseas countries. In our own country a similar course was started. It was called the man of war bay’ and was held in what is now known as the Republic of Cameroun. Today, ‘self discovery’ courses are run for boy and girls from most primary schools.
Study one particular girl in the class and write about five sentences on what you think her character is. Study her face the way she smiles, the way her eyes are set and not the way she is dressed.
FURTHER INFORMATION
Laying the foundation of the child’s character and good habits is mainly the responsibility of the home. The child has been born with inherited traits which will be developed gradually as he grows older. His character starts to show only when he is presented with conflicting standards and has to choose his own but it should not be left to learning through experience only. His character will also develop if adults who themselves have character, and who can give practical reasons for their principles, are on hand to direct him. Practical wisdom is not passed on by preaching. Therefore it becomes a matter of great importance that the kind of routine established at home should be such that can help the child in his early stage of growth, before he becomes involved with an institution. A child who has not had the care of a mother at certain critical periods of his life, such as from infancy to childhood, may develop traits, like distract ability, unreliability and lack of inhibition. These are the fundamental distinctions of lack of character. Again, the development of an ego depends largely on how rules are passed on to the child in the years before rationalism is possible.
Good habits are the bed-rock of good character, and good home routine yields good habits. The child reacts to everyday necessary routine in very different ways depending on his age, nature and the way he is treated. He will learn from an early age how to eat well, how much to eat when to eat. He will also develop good sleeping has), bits, and learn to avoid bedwetting. Such bad habits might embarrass the child in his later years, affecting his personality since he might be ridiculed by friends. The child should be encouraged to do all he can by himself, irrespective of age. A word of praise from time to time will give him encouragement.
The child’s problems in his pre-school life, (problems like telling untruths, having a fear of the dark, or having temper outburst, if well handled in the home, will prepare the child for character training when he is of school age.
THE ADOLESCENT: THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HIM AND HIS PARENTS
Shortly after a child enters school, he begins to acquaint himself with the fact that it will not be long before he begins to grow up. Gradually, every year, he learns what growing up means – changes in height, weight and body proportions, to become those of men and women. He gets all this knowledge from his new environment. Therefore, by the time he is nine or ten years old,, he should be thoroughly familiar with the meaning of puberty. He knows some years ahead of the time what changes he will have at puberty. And the knowledge will help to quieted him down regardless of the fear and dreads he may have about the changes. Most children begin to have their puberty changes between the ages of ten, and twelve years.
At this stage the child will develop his secondary sex characteristics, such as hair on the body, change in the voice, and changes that take place in the sex organs themselves. The child becomes aware that his sex is different from girls. In the process of growing from childhood into adulthood, the child a time for learning, a lovely and exciting time, but also a difficult one.
GIRLHOOD TO WOMANHOOD
The adolescent is a teenager whether boy or girl. Her ambitious are to make friends and to be accepted socially. Most of the initiative exhibited as a child to do those things she had learn to do to earn her praise, and to get self satisfaction is no longer there. It is quite a job, becoming a young woman.
It is like building a house. The builders start by digging up the foundations. Then they proceed with a din of drills and hammers. Ugly bars stick up into the sky. At the time it all look like a terrible mess, with no rhyme or reason. But when the work is completed, there stands a perfectly good house, nice to live in, and good to look at. Adolescent is like that. It is a time when a girls mind is growing in tune with the body, a time when a her character is taking shape and her sympathy and awareness for other people are expanding. One day she is in a bad temper, and another day she feels on top of the world.
While all this is ongoing in her, her mother expects help from her with the running of the home. She is expected to look after the younger members of the family. In this new position, the younger members themselves look on her as a model and expect her to mother them.
To be a home manager, the adolescent will display a thorough knowledge of the good habits she learnt as a child. Good relationships and a spirit of co-operation will be demanded from her. In the process of learning to be like her mother and yet keeping her personality, she will learn to cultivate self respect and respect for other people, their viewpoints and their persons, her mother’s demands should be reasonable, and she should be sympathetic, loving and understanding.
Outside the home, the adolescent strives to be accepted socially; so she makes more effort to improve her person and appearance. Meanwhile, changes continue to be evident. The chest will gradually develop while the breasts continue to take shape. The sex glands known as ovaries which are dormant in children begin to work. They release oestrogen and progesterone into the blood. It is normal for a girl at this stage to feel proud as she watches herself developing into a beautiful young woman.
Other body changes take place in the growing girl. Hair grows under the arms and at the base of the stomach over the pubic bone and around the vulva. Then, one day, the first menstruation flows. This loss of blood is caused by the ovaries releasing the first ovum. Now the girl really begins her life as a young women, but it still be a long time before her body completes its evolution and becomes fully developed, although physical development is quite rapid.
GUIDE POSTS FOR THE ADOLESCENT GIRL
The tendency for the adolescent girl to try to fulfill her children dream of being ‘like mother’ is strong at this time. The changes that occur in her body also occur in her mind and heart. She wants to live, love, and be useful like other women. Whatever is the mental picture of what she would wish to be, the important thing is that she should be herself. If she is going to be a real adult person, she has to be two things – a woman like all other women, and herself, unique with all her good and bad points like no other person, completely different.
The desire to be in the company of boys and be noticed by them comes from what is called the ‘sex instinct’. Later it will form a part of the attraction that will help her choose the man she will marry, if she decides that this is her aim in life. This attraction for boys plays an important part in the life of the adolescent girl. She will enjoy being with boys and doing things together with them, making plans and discussing all kinds of ideas. Gradually she will come to understand what boys are and how they do things. She will understand also what it is to be feminine.
In all this, the adolescent girl should realize that there are pitfalls, and should try to be careful not to spend all her time with boys, never doing anything else. She should not believe all the nice and flattering things said to her by boys.
She should not kiss and cuddle anybody who says he loves her, when the attraction will be short lived. She should not believe that because her present boy friend is good to her she will love him for the rest of her life. She should not allow herself to be carried away by the excitement of finding boys interesting and she should not obey blindly the sex instinct that attracts a woman to a man.
The adolescent girl should take a pride in her womanhood and give it the utmost respect as is expected of a Nigerian girl. Nigerian culture expects that a young girl at this stage should take great pains to look after her person – taking regular baths, having regular changes of clothing. Very simple manicuring of the toe and fingernails is important, as too is regular care of the hair.
As the body changes occur, the different glands and hormones are working very hard; as a result the adolescent will develop body odour. This has to be combated with the use of a good toilet soap and simple deodorant. Personal hygiene and good grooming become more than ever an integral part of her life, and she should want to look and be her best all the time.
BOYHOOD TO MANHOOD
The adolescent boy, like the girl, has to get to understand what changes are taking place in him. He is a late starter because his male sex glands, the testicles, do not begin to work until he is between the ages of twelve and fifteen. Until this time they remain as if asleep. But when the testicles start to work, they release male hormones through the blood stream to the rest of the body. These results in the boy becoming masculine in changes going on in him leave him confused. As a result he no longer just accepts other people’s viewpoints like a child, but starts having ideas of his own. He still likes to be with his parents but also wishes to be with his friends to have fun. He begins to find general discussion interesting, he wishes sometimes to be with girls and to have them admire him. He likes to contradict others, especially at home. He dislikes ‘discipline’ and being told what to do even when he knows that what he is being told is right. He often feels that no one understands him or loves him and he begins to have emotions he has never had before.
Adolescence can be a rather depressing and irritating period in the life of a boy. Sometimes everything seems upside down and he feels alone and miserable. At other times he will feel full of joy and want to talk to his parents about all sorts of things. The unhappy moments of adolescence are a necessary part of growing up. It might console the adolescent to know that his father and mother had the same experiences before they became what they are. They will listen to him with understanding, so he should not hesitate to talk to them about his difficulties.
The adolescent’s best friend should be his father or mother, or any other member of the family, at this turbulent period of his life, and this friend should know what it means to have to pilot this near-adult over into adulthood safely. He is moody and reserved; he feels awkward and antisocial most of the time. He does not like to be ordered about. He would like to be left alone to his own thoughts.
The parent, remembering his own experience of the period, should be tactful, in his guidance, and over discipline problems of the adolescent. The adolescent will challenge adult authority and discipline because of his confused state of mind. Father should be persuasive rather than domineering. He should show sympathy instead of impatience and intolerance. The adolescent should be encouraged to take an interest in outdoor games and social activities. A place of his own in the house should be provided for him, where he can entertain his friends. The parent in this way will be in a position to know who his friends are, and whether the company he keeps is congenial. The place of the parent should be that of a guidance counselor rather than that of a disciplinarian.
PROBLEMS AND RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER MEMBERS OF THE FAMILY
It is an accepted fact that whatever a child acquires in the way of skill, good habits and character training, he carries through adolescence into adulthood. It is also true that adolescence is a period during which a child may progress to specifically mature adult forms of thought: to consider objectively all sides of a problem. Full maturity of thinking is not an automatic result of growth. It is dependent on experience, education, and probably the level of general ability. Opportunities should be provided for the adolescent to learn to consolidate what he learnt as a child and develop his capabilities to the full. A member of the class should stand in for the teacher, who has gone to hospital. She should write the teacher’s notes on the previous lessons on the chalkboard. The class should report back on her reaction to questions and comments by them.
FURTHER INFORMATION
The adolescent needs to stabilize his whole life physically, emotionally, intellectually and socially. The home to a certain extent, and school and society to a greater extent, take the responsibility of seeing him grow into a respectable, intelligent man of character. The home should give him love, security and the self confidence he needs, while the school plans his intellectual growth, and the society provides him with experiences for character building.
An unhappy home will drive him into bad company, he may become dissatisfied at home with how the home is ordered and so become a ‘bully’ to the younger members of the family in this anxiety to do what father has failed to do. He swears at them whenever he becomes irritated and slams the door to register dissatisfaction. He challenges father’s authority over him and the family in general. On the other hand, he may be provoked by taunts from the other members of the family, either because he is going out with a girl or because of a mannerism he has picked up in his attempt to find his bearings. His moods are unpredictable. All these bring friction between him and the other members of the family. He quarrels with his parents for not giving him sufficient money to spend: he must look good in appearance to keep his girl, and should also date her.
The girl day dreams when she is not out with other girls. She wants to look her best and sometimes wants to be like her star heroine. Her unwillingness to help mother with domestic work is outstanding at this time. She devotes her time to reading romance magazines. Her frequent out bursts over corrections upset the family from time to time.
Father must be firm in his application of discipline. This is one of the times when father and mother must act as one to maintain order in the family. Father should at all times be impartial and so be the ideal father they all believe him to be. He should be tolerant, friendly. His understanding of the problems of his own time, and his fatherly advice, will help the adolescent to settle down. Self respect for all and respect for one another at home should be demanded.
Some responsibility should be given to the adolescent to give him a sense of belonging. He could settle the electricity bills, take younger members of the family who are ill to see the doctor, plan the flower garden or do some shopping for mother.
The social life of the adolescent is as important as his physical growth. He should not be a social misfit. He should be encouraged to go out and meet boys and girls of his age group. Opportunities should be provided by institutions other than the home. The school, the church and her allied organization, and all youth organizations should share the responsibility of making the adolescent a good citizen of the state.
As explained in above, one method of doing this is to organize character training courses like the man of war bay run in Cameroun. This was designed to make adolescents encounter difficulties and find solutions to them, to learn to control their muscles and emotions. The adolescent was guided into hazards and helped out of them again. More of such courses either run by the state or by voluntary organizations will be of great help to our present day adolescents.
The adolescent should be encouraged to belong to any one of the youth organizations like the boy scouts, the rangers club, the girls brigade, and the sports club. It is here that his moods, tantrums, physical and social problems can be properly met and overcome. Then the adolescent will grow into a well balanced person physically, mentally, emotionally and socially.
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Compassionate women outreach ministry is the best babies home that cares, houses and protects babies of all levels. Babies are kept, protected, fed, housed and cared for in the manner that shall project godliness and holiness. It is the best in all issues of the baby’s total welfare. Compassionate women outreach ministry stands as the best and the most caring orphanage in the issues of babies and children.
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Compassionate women outreach ministry is the best children caring center in the country that takes the affairs of children at heart irrespective of their nationality, states, tribes or race. The burden of the children is the sleepless might’s of the management of the compassionate women outreach ministry. The major concern is the sleepless thoughts and daily anxiety in the compassionate women outreach ministry and are the betterment, improvement and advancement of the children in her orphanage home. Rev Prof Emma Ononuju and his wife Rev Dr Alice Zuriel Ononuju established the compassionate women outreach ministry to better the lives and health’s of all unfortunate children in our society and in the entire world at large.
POSTIVE INFORMATION
The educational, social and economic status of parents goes a long way to help form their children’s attitudes towards ex. It is well known that children with better home backgrounds have better attitudes.
A child’s physical development is synonymous with his sex development. As he grows into an adolescent, his sex organs develop too, and he may develop wrong attitudes and a faulty pattern of behavior if his sex information comes from wrong sources like comic books, newspapers and magazines, or from dirty stories and jokes in the school or playgrounds and parks.
In many countries today the child grows up in an environment with plenty of sex everywhere. Quite early in his life, due to overcrowding at home, the child becomes a witness to his parents sex acts. He wants to know what these acts are, and wants to experience them. By the time he has approached adolescence wrong patterns of behavior have already been formed which influence his interest in sex. As a result many young people of today throw themselves into unhealthy love making. It also makes sex lose its beauty. Any adolescent who indulges in unhealthy sexual experiments cannot associate sex with respectability in marriage. The adolescent girl who has been taught that sex is dirty and so should be avoided cannot accept it in marriage as natural, clean and wholesome. The consequence is frustration, and because both now find adjustment to sex in their married life difficult, their marriage may rock and eventually break up.
Sex is a wonderful way, made possible by God in his creation, to make human beings and animals constantly reproduce themselves to ensure continued existence. It should therefore be respected. Boy and girl relationships can and should be clean, healthy and above board. Girls have a better chance than boys of controlling their sex impulses, since they are not so easily aroused. If a girl is sufficiently disciplined over her intimate physical contact with men and avoids familiarities and flirtation, she will not be sexually stimulated. If a girl has frequent sex activities with different men she will lose herself respect. She may also contract disease or find it difficult after marriage to adjust herself to married life. She runs a risk of having a child before the child is really wanted. This undisciplined sexual act has led many girls into serious crimes. It is of paramount importance to have one’s children when one wants them.
It is beneficial to a boy to limit his sexual activities. During wet dreams experiences, the body releases pent-up tensions and feelings subconsciously and harmlessly. Sex activities are not a necessity to good health and virility. A man is virile from puberty right through life. It is traditional and customary in our society that sex activities should take place within marriage only. This tradition and custom can still be upheld even in our societies today.
PLANNING FOR MARRIAGE
The child in his babyhood has mother and father to fuss over him. As a child he learns to take responsibility for others, especially some younger members of the family. He grows up in love – receiving and giving love. Then he moves into adolescence, and loving becomes more complex. It is no longer the king of love he has for his parents and brothers and sisters. It becomes emotional and shakes his whole being.
Most people, when they grow up this stage, find one particular person who they want to understand and love deeply. They move about together, discuss current affairs and think other’s moods, their likes and dislikes. They take each other home to understand their different backgrounds. They do many things together, and as they get to know each other better, they become more and more attracted and attached to each other. They find they are happy whenever they are attached to each other. They are away from each other, there is a feeling of emptiness left inside them.
This period of going together and getting to know each other is called courtship. It is of paramount importance to the two of them because their whole future hangs on it. Women have come here for the purpose of being married? The answer is yes. The registrar then proceeds to explain to them that if in their lifetime and without a ‘decree absolute’ (divorce) granted to them, either of them goes through another form of marriage with someone else, he or she would be brought before the court of law to be punished for the offence of bigamy. Then the marriage is celebrated in a matter of a few minutes.
MARRIAGE IN CHURCH
For this kind of marriage the law requires that it should be celebrated in a church building which is recognized or licensed for marriage, and that the necessary licenses should be obtained from the registrar after he has been given due notice of twenty one days.
This form of marriage is only open to baptized Christians. To a Christian, marriage is a very sacred thing in which the couple makes life long vows in the presence of God and witnesses, the order of service varies from denomination to denomination, but the main features are nearly always the same. The minister stresses the importance of matrimony being kept holy and that it should be entered into with all seriousness of purpose and responsibility. At the end of the order of service, after the ring has been presented and accepted, the minister proclaims the man and woman husband and wife, and declares: ‘what God has joined together, let no man put asunder’.
It can easily be seen here that there is very little in common between the two forms of marriage under the ordinance. The only thing they have in common is that they do not allow either of the couple to marry someone else without divorce or the death of the partner.
SPECIAL LICENCE
There is what is known as ‘marriage with special license’. This applies only when the couples are in a hurry and want to save time, both go to the registrar in the court, pay the prescribed fee and observe the law regarding the length of time they have to wait before the marriage.
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